Dear brothers and sisters,

 

Last time we started our new series on adab (akhlaq) or manners.  And we have mentioned that a human’s nature is made up of four major components: the animalistic component, the predator’s component, the angelic component and the satanic component.  Last meeting we started by talking about the animalistic character of a human and if you remember we mentioned that this character is connected to the natural instincts of a human such as food, survival and shelter.  We also looked at one example that is food.

A very good question was raised after the lecture that is: How did the human end up with these four characters in him?

To answer this, we need to look at the way the human was created.  And we need to look at the source of each element in the process of creation.  Now these four components can be traced back to three elements in the creation process of Adam (earth, light and fire). 

We can look at the animalistic and predator’s behaviors in a human and find that they have a common factor that is materialistic nature or tendency to acquire materialistic, worldly benefits.  That is why they are also called characters of dust (صفات الطين).

 

The angelic nature in a human represents the purity.  Angels are pure, they do not commit sin and they have no tendency to acquire physical belongings because they were created from a pure non-physical element that is light.  So that is why this is also known as sifat al Nur.

 

The satanic nature in a human are traced to the satan’s love of evil and disobedience.  Satan’s are created from fire.  That is why they are also called sifat Al Nar.

 

In other words, a human can also be said to have the characters of mud, light and fire.

 

But, why these three elements in particular?

 

To understand this we look at the effects of each character on the human and others.  For example, mud is associated with dirt; mud is also associated with farming hence fertility.  We mate to ensure our existence so this is like farming we saw and we hope to reap the fruits of our work.  It is also a fact that when a farmer spreads his seeds he hopes to get more than what he had thrown in the earth, hence our love for more and more worldly pleasures.  In this we are similar to all other earthly creatures because they are all created from the same material that we were created from in the first place that is mud.

 

The second element is light or Nur.  In any culture light represents purity and hope.  Nur is pure and clean.  It does not have atoms or tangible material.  Nur brings only good, it does not cause harm or destruction.  And because the angels were created from this nature, they follow the law of physics of the element that they were created from.   They are pure and free of sin. 

But, where did the human get this nature into his character?   Humans are created from mud!  The Nur came into the human from the blow of life which Allah (swt) had blown into Adam to bring him to life after he was nothing but an empty hollow statue. 

 

هل اتى على الانسان حين من الدهر لم يكن شيئا مدكورا

 

“Has there come a time on the Human that he was nothing worthy of mention”

 

Subhan Allah, yet humans forget very fast their origins.  If Allah (swt) so wished, Adam would have remained a statue forever and the whole human race would have never existed. 

 

The third element is ‘fire’ and that is what fuels the satanic characters in a human.  Fire has the nature of destruction, instability, loss of control and so on.  Satan are created from fire therefore it is inherent to their nature to cause harm.  But, where did this element come into the human?

 

The Quran describes the stages of the creation of Adam.  In one of these stages, the Quran mentions:

 

من صلصال من حمأ مسنون

“From burnt clay”

 

At one stage the clay which Adam was created from was heated.  That heat became ingrained in the human nature.  And this is the source of the satanic characters in the human.

 

That is why my dearest brothers and sisters, when we get angry our faces turn red, we fume and we lose control.  That is why when a person gets jealous, he loses control of himself and boils inside him to the point of destroying his own self.  Just like the fire, it burns out of control and consumes every thing around it until eventually it consumes itself.

 

So, these are the three elements which constitute the human character.  As Muslims, الحمد لله we have this balanced formula.  We believe that Allah (swt) had created us in this form and with our devotion to Allah we can ascend with our soul far beyond the dirt of this world.  But those who do not believe in Allah can not see this.  All what they see is the animal in themselves.  Why do you think then, there are people who strongly defend the evolution theory, despite the fact of its serious flaws?

 

If all what you care about is this world.  Getting more wealth, more children, more power, higher status, more sex, more and more!  Then there is nothing more comforting to you than to believe that you are nothing but an animal.  That you evolved from a monkey of even a donkey for that matter.  In fact, any belief other than this is a burden and a hindrance in your way in getting more of what you desire.

زين للناس حب الشهوات

“It is adorned to people the love of their desires”

 

But of course, there is no virtue in living like an animal

أولئك كالانعام بل أضل سبيلا

“Those are like cattle; no they are even more lost than cattle”

 

So, my dearest brothers and sisters, after knowing our composition, let us take another character from our animalistic nature and see how that character affect our lives and how can we tame it to conform to our Islamic values.

 

Last month we talked about food, and today, we will take the second and most important nature that is our sexual drive.  This is my dearest, brothers and sisters, is so important especially in an environment like ours here where everything is free and open.  In fact, Prophet Muhammad (saws) said:

من يضمن لي ما بين فخديه و بين لحييه و اضمن له الجنه

“Whoever guards what is between his legs and his lips, I guarantee for him the jannah”

 

And before we go any further in this matter, we need to understand how does Islam view sex or human sexuality?

 

From an Islamic point of view, my dearest brothers and sisters, sex is neutral.  It can be good and a source of reward and can be evil and a source of sin as Prophet Muhammad (saws) explained:

و في بضع احدكم صدقه.  قالوا يا رسول الله: أو ياتي احدنا حاجته فيكتب له اجر.  فقال رسول الله (ص): ارايتم ان و ضعها في حرام افيكون عليه وزر.  قالوا بلى.  قال: فكدلك.

“It is an act of charity to have intimate relation with your wife.  The companions asked: even though when we are doing so to enjoy ourselves, do we still get reward for that.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) replied:  if one of you derived his satisfaction through illegal way, do you think he should be punished?  They replied: yes.  He replied: in the same manner, when you derive your satisfaction through legal means you should be rewarded.”

 

So that is the basic view of sex in Islam.  But how can we receive the reward which prophet Muhammad (saws) mentioned?  The condition which Prophet Muhammad stated in this hadith is that it should be a legal relation.  In islam we only have one legal relation between a man and a woman, that is marriage.  We do not have boyfriend/girlfriend relation, defacto relation; long term partner relation, one night stand relation or what have you.  The only relation that Islam accepts is marriage, and not any marriage but a marriage that is based on  أيجاب و قبول which translates to mutual agreement from both parties which is solemnized as a legal agreement in the presence of two witnesses and a wali. 

 

Some of you might be asking why I mention these conditions.  The reason my dearest brothers and sisters, we started to see in some of the Muslim communities a new kind of marriage relations that they claim to be Islamic where in fact they are not.  For example, a young man and a young woman, university students let us say, get together bring two of their friends and they say we are married.  Now this marriage satisfied the condition of mutual agreement and witnesses but lacks the condition of a wali.  This is an illegal marriage from Islamic point of view, because Prophet Muhammad (saws) said:

لا نكاح بغير ولي

“Marriage cannot be solemnised without a wali”

 

And there are many other forms that we started to hear of these days, so be extra careful when it comes to marriage relation.  It is a serious matter and must be taken as a serious matter as Prophet Muhammad (saws) said;

ثلاثة جدهن جد و هزلهن جد

Three matters, you cannot joke about

النكاح و الطلاق و تحرير العبد

Marriage, divorce and setting a slave free.

 

If you say Yes to any of them wether joking or serious it is legally binding.

 

But let us see why those people are resorting to such measures.  It should not come as surprise to you; that it is a result of two things:

1-                 the surrounding environment

2-                 our Muslim community inability to adapt to the needs of our Muslim youth

 

Off course, the environment surrounding us places us a lot of pressure on our youth both males and females.  They feel peer pressured to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.  This idea is enforced over and over on TV, movies, books and so on.  The pressure is immense that is not easy for them to just ignore it.  You see, my beloved brothers and sisters, this is one of the signs of the last hour as Prophet Muhammad (saws) explained:

لا تقوم الساعة حتى تشيع الفاحشة.  حتى ان الرجل يغشى المراة على قارعة الطريق

“The hour will not be established until fornication becomes obvious and open practice in the society, to the point that a man and a woman would copulate at the side of the street.”

 

And we see this in our environment.  After they get drunk at the pub they go out of the pub and do what they need openly at the sidewalk.  That is the time when the فتنه which Allah (swt) described hits the Muslim ummah:

فتنه تدر الحليم حيران

“A trial that leaves the wise person lost (does not know what to do)”

 

That is exactly what is happening to our youth, they are lost.  They are not sure what should they do.  There are Muslim youth living a double life.  They come to the mosque, behave well at home but have a completely different life style outside.   Both the parents and the community are responsible for this and we cannot ignore our responsibility if we want to ensure the future of our children.

Parents need to be more watchful and aware of what their children are doing without being over bearing.  We need to educate them about the Islamic views to human sexuality and how and why should they control it.  They also share the responsibility with the Muslim community to provide an alternative niche environment that is supportive of the youth and their needs.  And we cannot ignore this.  In fact we cannot afford to ignore it.

 

Muslim communities are not adapting well to the need of the Muslim youth.  Listen, you have made a choice to bring your children and family to live here, a good choice, but you have to understand that it is your responsibility now to protect them from bad influences.  We cannot live in Newcastle or Sydney and afford to stick to Pakistani, Indian, Syrian or any culture and tradition at the expense of our youth.  I know of cases, here, in Singapore and in Canada where the parents are good Muslims but they have lost their children because of the lack of alternatives.

 

We cannot just tell young Muslims (boys and girls); do not commit fornication; without giving them an alternative.  And we only have one alternative that is marriage.  So, we have to make it easy for them and support them to do so.

 

I know of cases where a good Muslim man proposed to good Muslim woman and they are both happy with each other but the parents stopped the marriage because they are of different backgrounds and other cases because the parents were asking too much of the man in wedding expenses.  What are they waiting for? 

 

Wa allhi, my dearest brothers and sisters, every time I go to pray at the university of sydney’s musallah, I feel very sad.  I see beautiful Muslim girls, very beautiful, intelligent, well educated and young Muslim men very nice, handsome, intelligent and educated.  Yet they are unmarried.  Whose fault is it?  Do not you think it is our community’s fault?

 

Wa allhi my dearest brothers and sisters, I hold those sisters and brothers with greatest respect.  When you see all that is surrounding them and they are fighting it all alone with little help from the community.  I remember the words of Prophet Muhammad (saws:

عبادة في الهرج تعدل اجر شهيد

“Performing ibadah at the times of chaos amounts to the status of martyrdom”

 

And I believe my dearest brothers and sisters, those youth like you are among those who Prophet Muhammad (saws) meant in this hadith.

We can go on and on about this topic but to keep it short, we need to help our youth to fulfil their needs without resorting to the haram. And let me conclude with this beautiful story and example; the marriage of the best woman on earth to the greatest youth of all times.  The marriage of سيده فاطمه to علي (ra).  The story goes like this:

 

“Abu bakr (ra) proposed to marry Fatimah but prophet Muhammad (saws) apologised because she was much younger than him.  Then Umar proposed and Prophet Muhammad (saws) apologised for the same reason. 

A woman went to Ali (ra) and said to him:  Abu Bakr and Omar proposed to Fatima but Prophet Muhammad (saws) turn their requests down.  Why do not you propose to marry her?  He replied: I am poor; I do not have any thing to give her as a gift of marriage. 

She said: I think if you propose, Prophet Muhammad will give her to you in marriage.

Then Ali went to Prophet Muhammad (saws) and he found him in the mosque.  He sat to the prophet but he did not find the courage to ask for Fatima’s hand.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) said to him:  why are you here Ali.  Ali’s face turned red.  So Prophet Muhammad (saws) said to him: perhaps you came here to propose to Fatima?  He said: “Yes, yes”.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) then said to him: what gift can you give her?  Ali replied: I do not have anything.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) said: yes, you do.  Give her your shield. Then, Prophet Muhammad (saws) solemnised their marriage.  And guess what furniture Ali provided for the house.  A mattress made from leather and a water skin”

 

This is a far cry from what most parents expect for their daughters, expensive wedding gifts and furniture and parties.  And see the results: either houses full of furniture but empty of love or Muslim men and women in their twenties and thirties unmarried and frustrated.

 

We ask Allah (swt) to help our youth to stay steadfast on Islam and help us to provide them with the Islamic alternative for their problems.